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[steepwithdead]

"Oh, hey."

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[grabaslice]

Fate has a cruel sense of humor, so, I hear you. [Knowing his luck, he'll land somewhere not particularly pleasant or be horribly maimed by pushing his luck with magic.]

I'm going to take a shot in the dark that everything here has Thirteen's magic all over it. So, we're just stuck speculating. Makes me wonder if we'd take any of it back with us. We're changed fundamentally as we come in, will it be stripped away as we go-?

[steepwithdead]

Hard to say. I've seen and heard that both options are possible- we may remember, or we may not. Maybe it'll only feel like a dream, maybe the changes forced on us will carry through.

[Wings would probably be useful, in his world. It wouldn't be a terrible thing. Remembering would be alright, and in truth, he has gotten stronger during his time here. Maybe he could help the rest of the Nein with their missions better now. It doesn't sound so bad.]

[grabaslice]

I'd like to carry all of this- [He presses his palm against his chest, struggling to articulate the feeling properly.] with me. Good and bad.

Even this stupid fight with Donnie, it's still... more time with him. Something I can fix. Instead of just a memory. When I go back with Casey, I don't think Donnie would go with us. I'll take what I can get.

[steepwithdead]

Ah...

[That, he imagines, would be a hard pill to swallow. Another goodbye to be made. For him to not join them, it would be as if he'll die all over again.]

It's good to cherish and try to hold on to these extra memories. Borrowed time is precious. Things can change over time, though. Maybe you should wait until this conflict is resolved before you worry about any of that.

[Especially with no clear way to get them back to their worlds safely, anyway.]

[grabaslice]

After you've saved the future, it's hard not to think about it. [He bats back, trying for a joke even if it doesn't land.]

You're right though. I should just... try to fix this. Instead of getting into a fist fight in his lab and calling him a stupid piss baby to his face. [He didn't call him a piss baby, but he was REALLLLLY thinking it.]

[steepwithdead]

[...Wow, that... really is a fight with a brother, huh.]

What do you think "fixing this" would entail, at this point?

[grabaslice]

[No one in this family functions. The question does take the wind out of Leonardo's sails completely. His irritation drying up.]

I don't know. I thought, if he apologized to Casey, there could be progress. He won't though.

[steepwithdead]

He's not willing to apologize?

[He's not especially surprised, but it is unfortunate.]

[grabaslice]

From the conversation we had? No, he seems reluctant to even do that. [All Leo really wants is Donnie to apologize to Casey.] Since we're just doing this 'to make ourselves feel better' and we're 'wasting our time'.

[steepwithdead]

...He... has quite the cynical view of his family, doesn't he.

[Yikes. Yikeronis. The very concept is incredibly alien to him.]

[grabaslice]

Pretty sure, he just hates himself. [After this long? Leo unfortunately knows that is probably what is going on.] Can't really fix that, or help him with it very easily.

[steepwithdead]

Unfortunately not. I'm... familiar with that issue.

[Caleb was probably the worst of the group, but many of the Nein struggled with some form of self-loathing. It's gotten better. Takes a while, takes effort and kinder experiences.]

It can help to give them a pathway towards self-love, instead. Emotional growth, accomplishments they can be proud of. Time, care, and support. As you said- not easy. It never happens overnight, if it happens at all.

[grabaslice]

Given your knack for helping people, I'm not too surprised you've run into it before. [Caduceus has a need to help people, far as the turtle can tell. A deep well of compassion.]

When things are calmer, I'll reach out to again. Leave the door open for him. Best I can even do.

[steepwithdead]

I only wish it wasn't so common that I've come across it multiple times before.

[He truly wishes for people to love themselves, as they deserve. The list of those who should hate themselves, in his mind, is very short.]

It's a good plan. Things are heated right now, you both need to cool down.

[grabaslice]

You'll probably unfortunately keep running into it. It's a lot easier to hate yourself than love yourself. [He's speaking from experience, though he doesn't get into it.]

It'll keep me from throttling him or somehow making this worse.

[steepwithdead]

Unfortunate is the word.

[Ah, well. He's working on it, one suffering soul at a time.]

Throttling him definitely will not help.

[grabaslice]

It'd make me feel better. [He grumps back vaguely.] What about my mental health, huh?

[He's not being particularly serious.]

[steepwithdead]

You've been taking care of your mental health in a less violent way, if I recall.

[You literally saw him for therapy?]

[grabaslice]

Sounds fake. Time to self-destruct, forever.

[Bro, you are LIVING!!! in his house!!

Grumping melodrama aside, Leonardo just sighs.] Never realized how much I sanctified the stupid dumdum until he was alive again.

[steepwithdead]

[The disrespect!!]

Grief has a tendency to colour one's memories, make them rosy and clean. It's why you rarely hear people say negative things at funerals.

[And boy has he ever seen a ton of funerals. Most of them have the same vibe. Whoever the person was in life, in death, there were no evil deeds to speak of.]

[grabaslice]

[Leonardo can't stop himself from sighing openly at that.] It's sure... a hard lesson, re-learning he's still a pain in the ass.

[steepwithdead]

Siblings always are. You have to re-learn how to balance it, too.

[That comes neither easy nor quickly. It's part of the growing pains.]

And that means both of you.

[grabaslice]

I got too used to Mikey's level of being a pain in the ass. All his mystic guru-esq sayings... [He answers with a weak laugh.] Gotta get used to Donnie's bullshit again.

To him... we didn't lose that time. I spent years apart, and it hasn't been like that for him.

[steepwithdead]

That does complicate things. How long was it?

[He didn't start seeing Casey for counselling until a while after his arrival, so the time difference could be different from what he recalls.]

[grabaslice]

There was a two year gap on my side of things. [He answers easily enough.] I need to figure out how to stop bringing it up and... letting it color things.