After you've saved the future, it's hard not to think about it. [He bats back, trying for a joke even if it doesn't land.]
You're right though. I should just... try to fix this. Instead of getting into a fist fight in his lab and calling him a stupid piss baby to his face. [He didn't call him a piss baby, but he was REALLLLLY thinking it.]
From the conversation we had? No, he seems reluctant to even do that. [All Leo really wants is Donnie to apologize to Casey.] Since we're just doing this 'to make ourselves feel better' and we're 'wasting our time'.
Pretty sure, he just hates himself. [After this long? Leo unfortunately knows that is probably what is going on.] Can't really fix that, or help him with it very easily.
Unfortunately not. I'm... familiar with that issue.
[Caleb was probably the worst of the group, but many of the Nein struggled with some form of self-loathing. It's gotten better. Takes a while, takes effort and kinder experiences.]
It can help to give them a pathway towards self-love, instead. Emotional growth, accomplishments they can be proud of. Time, care, and support. As you said- not easy. It never happens overnight, if it happens at all.
Given your knack for helping people, I'm not too surprised you've run into it before. [Caduceus has a need to help people, far as the turtle can tell. A deep well of compassion.]
When things are calmer, I'll reach out to again. Leave the door open for him. Best I can even do.
You'll probably unfortunately keep running into it. It's a lot easier to hate yourself than love yourself. [He's speaking from experience, though he doesn't get into it.]
It'll keep me from throttling him or somehow making this worse.
Grief has a tendency to colour one's memories, make them rosy and clean. It's why you rarely hear people say negative things at funerals.
[And boy has he ever seen a ton of funerals. Most of them have the same vibe. Whoever the person was in life, in death, there were no evil deeds to speak of.]
I got too used to Mikey's level of being a pain in the ass. All his mystic guru-esq sayings... [He answers with a weak laugh.] Gotta get used to Donnie's bullshit again.
To him... we didn't lose that time. I spent years apart, and it hasn't been like that for him.
There was a two year gap on my side of things. [He answers easily enough.] I need to figure out how to stop bringing it up and... letting it color things.
You can stop bringing it up, but the second part is impossible. Your world has changed, the colours shifted. They'll never be as they were before. What you need is to work together to find a new future together, in those colours.
[He turns the thought over in his mind, trying to commit that to memory.] It feels easier said than done. I want him to know I love him and missed him, but, it doesn't always-
[He cuts off the thought.] Work together to find a new future, okay. I can do that. We can do that.
I'm going to try. [He means it, even if a bitter thought slips out.] I just need him to stop tanking his only relationships first. All he has is us and he's running.
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You're right though. I should just... try to fix this. Instead of getting into a fist fight in his lab and calling him a stupid piss baby to his face. [He didn't call him a piss baby, but he was REALLLLLY thinking it.]
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What do you think "fixing this" would entail, at this point?
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I don't know. I thought, if he apologized to Casey, there could be progress. He won't though.
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[He's not especially surprised, but it is unfortunate.]
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[Yikes. Yikeronis. The very concept is incredibly alien to him.]
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[Caleb was probably the worst of the group, but many of the Nein struggled with some form of self-loathing. It's gotten better. Takes a while, takes effort and kinder experiences.]
It can help to give them a pathway towards self-love, instead. Emotional growth, accomplishments they can be proud of. Time, care, and support. As you said- not easy. It never happens overnight, if it happens at all.
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When things are calmer, I'll reach out to again. Leave the door open for him. Best I can even do.
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[He truly wishes for people to love themselves, as they deserve. The list of those who should hate themselves, in his mind, is very short.]
It's a good plan. Things are heated right now, you both need to cool down.
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It'll keep me from throttling him or somehow making this worse.
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[Ah, well. He's working on it, one suffering soul at a time.]
Throttling him definitely will not help.
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[He's not being particularly serious.]
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[You literally saw him for therapy?]
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[Bro, you are LIVING!!! in his house!!
Grumping melodrama aside, Leonardo just sighs.] Never realized how much I sanctified the stupid dumdum until he was alive again.
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Grief has a tendency to colour one's memories, make them rosy and clean. It's why you rarely hear people say negative things at funerals.
[And boy has he ever seen a ton of funerals. Most of them have the same vibe. Whoever the person was in life, in death, there were no evil deeds to speak of.]
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[That comes neither easy nor quickly. It's part of the growing pains.]
And that means both of you.
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To him... we didn't lose that time. I spent years apart, and it hasn't been like that for him.
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[He didn't start seeing Casey for counselling until a while after his arrival, so the time difference could be different from what he recalls.]
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[He cuts off the thought.] Work together to find a new future, okay. I can do that. We can do that.
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It will be slow-going. Have faith in him, and yourself, but be patient. Slowly, Leo.
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