steepwithdead | Folkmore

Alright, how does sometime this week work for you?

I guess I just need to talk to someone. I... scared myself and scared Casey by proxy. The idea of scaring him just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

[He pauses before adding.]

Right, I'm his father, so, I don't want to scare him with what is going on with me. So you have some actual context.

[There's a pause before Caduceus responds.]

Ah, the famed sensei. I've heard a lot about you.

[So many stories, so much love and joy. And so much grief, too.]

I'd be glad to speak with you, especially if it helps both him and you. Pick a day you'd like this week, and I'll make space. The sooner the better, from the sound of it.

[Not a surprise, he came up in... this sort of therapy thing. It is just talking, so, not a big deal, right?

He is just going to try and not worry he's given his kid trauma.]

Just call me Leonardo. I don't feel like much of a sensei to anyone at this point.

How does tomorrow sound? It's not dire, but, wouldn't hurt to talk, yeah?

Leonardo, got it. [Yeah he definitely wasn't gonna call you sensei. Good man.

He'll take note of the other sensei comment, though. Casey's never stopped calling him that, and shows no sign of wanting to. He's absolutely someone's sensei still.]

Tomorrow's good. Come by after lunch. I've got snacks.

[His brain is a bit of a scrambled egg at this point. Any thought of how weird that sounded did not occur to him in the least.]

Thank you. Casey mentioned you were in Willow, so, gives me a chance to find you. Big tree house. I need a walk anyway.

[He arrives relatively on time. Only a little waylaid by idle walking through nature. It's... nice actually.

He knocks on the door when he arrives and waits. The turtle looks tired.]

[Expecting him, Caduceus is quick enough to open the door for him. ...Wow he sure does look tired.]

Hey, Leonardo. [He's seen Rue's family pictures, as well as the turtles coming and going next door. He looks a good deal like the younger Leo, while at the same time, entirely different. It's quite stark.] I'm Caduceus, it's nice to finally meet you.

The pleasure is mine, I'm taking up your time here. [There is equally no surprise the turtle can be a little charming, even if he looks like he hasn't slept too well.

He smiles, and it does a fair job of lighting up his features, taking away some of the haggard edge.]

My reputation precedes me around here, still taking some adjustment.

I can imagine, yeah.

[Especially with a kid who's so much of a talker about him...

He'll be more charming should he get a few nights of full sleep. They can work on that. Caduceus points a thumb over his shoulder.]

You're welcome to come inside. I've also got a nice garden on the roof, folks seem to like it for talking, if you'd rather. I've also got tea, or whatever else you'd like to drink.

Inside sounds perfect to me. [If he's going to be emotionally vulnerable, he's not going to let that somehow be overheard.]

Tea would be perfect. Probably had too much coffee on my part last couple days.

[Once granted entry, he'll walk inside, careful about his prosthetic given its bulkier size.]

Probably a good thing I don't usually carry coffee, then.

[One nice thing about the mansion is that it's equipped to handle the sturdy build and breadth of someone similar to his size, so it's not as tight a fit as one might imagine, even with the prosthetic. The interior is panelled a beautiful dark wood and elegant colours, though for the most part the decor and furniture are quite simple. Caduceus leads the path from entryway, to main hall, around a dining room with two big, broad tables, to at last the kitchen which is a good deal cozier, with its own table and set of chairs. The house as a whole seems to be a hoarding zone for plants, growing all over the place, and several hang in the kitchen, helpfully labelled with various spices and herbs. Caduceus gestures for him to sit if he likes, and goes to put a kettle on.]

What's on your mind?

[He holds back on the slew of jokes that pop to mind regarding coffee, deciding to just keep things simple.

The turtle follows Caduceus deeper into the house, charmed the further he walks in. Sure, he walked through Willow and enjoyed the natural lush greenery along the way, the little cottages and quaintness of it all- this is just different enough to charm him.

He will take a careful seat. Hands settling against his knees. The turtle is acting like he's never sat in a chair before in his life.]

Loaded question, but, I did come here to unload it. [well, he's trying to deflect a little to make things less weird.] When I got... here, it was from when I died. Being dead has kind of been on my mind. Scared Casey with it unintentionally.

[Caduceus makes a thoughtful noise, sifting through his tea collection for a suitable blend. Something subtle and soothing, no bitterness. Maybe a blooming floral.]

My sincere condolences. [It isn't entirely uncommon to have a conversation with the recently deceased, especially in his line of work. Everyone handles it differently.] Returning from the grave is no easy task. That sense of loss can... follow. What are your feelings on it? Having died, coming back.

[He huffs a little at the condolences. His lips quirking briefly into a smile.] Your condolences are accepted.

Conflicted. [That feels like a decent way to start.] One hand, I'm happy I get to see Casey actually grow up. I didn't think I'd get that. I made sure he could live. Even if I didn't.

On the other hand- [He thinks back to his conversation with his twin.] I guess I made peace with being dead. Accepted it. I keep expecting to be ripped away again, and... what's the point, then? I hurt Casey again?

[It isn't much of a surprise he's focusing his feelings more on caring for Casey than his own plight. Deflection mixed with his own natural want to take care of his child.]

Death can come for any of us, at any time. The perils of being mortal.

[He plucks a glass teapot from a shelf, setting it on the counter and placing a few of the blooms inside while the kettle starts to hum.]

I'm aware of the world you both came from, the dangers you faced every day. The world I come from is no safe haven for all, but it may as well be called a sanctuary in comparison. [Yeah, he's heard some stories.] In that world, every day you could have been torn away from one another. Death, infection, starvation, any of it. Yet you kept going. Why?

Better than being immortal if you ask me. [He can't stomach the idea of living forever.]

Big question there, Tea Guru- [It's not a particularly good nickname, but, he's just talking to talk.] I kept going because I needed to. Because I wanted to live. I had some big grand idea of what the future could be if only we got rid of the Krang. It was my world, and I was going to fix things for my family, for everyone else.

It was easier when I had some big goal and had to keep pulling myself up.

[The nickname makes Caduceus chuckle briefly, without a protest. Fair enough, and accurate. The rest, well...]

Pardon me for the presumption, but I'm pulling from the attitude of my parents a little bit, here. You're a father. Is there no greater goal you could be left with now than raising your child?

[He slumps a little in his seat, his gaze dropping to the floor.] He doesn't need me anymore. Casey has grown up so much without me, he has a whole life here. He found a place that makes him feel safe. I feel like all I'm doing is derailing his life right now.

Hell. He- [He sighs openly. Not sure how to describe all of this. Describe the inciting event.] He caught me at a bad moment. Nothing I wanted him to see.

I feel like I'm ruining his peace.

[Caduceus considers that thoughtfully for a moment, as he draws the kettle from the stove and pours it into the pot, the water hot but not yet boiling, to avoid scalding the tea. As the water flows over the bulbs in the bottom, they begin to expand, petals gradually unfurling into pretty florals.]

You know, Casey's been coming to me for over a year now, pretty steadily. Only missed a handful of meet-ups like this due to some trial or another. Do you know how it all started?

[Normally he wouldn't share much between 'clients', but Casey has been quite free and permissive about sharing information with his mother, up to this point. The rule applies to his dad, too.]

[The question does take Leo out of his own funk, he glances up at Cad, eye ridges furrowing somewhat. He can smell the florals from here. It just helps distract him a little further.]

Are you even allowed to tell me that-? [Leonardo has never seen anyone for his mental health, but... he's sure there is a oath or something about not sharing information.]

[What the heck is this hippo oath you don't speak of, sir. Caduceus quirks his own brow in response.]

Casey gave his blessing to share whatever I see fit. He's very invested in helping you.

Well, as long as he's okay with me knowing. [He says uncertainly back, trying to understand if this is a good idea or not.]

Mmhm. [Caduceus isn't at all concerned about repercussions for this; Casey's been very forthcoming, and his permission was blanket. Since Leonardo's not indicated otherwise, he'll take the answer as a no.] It was at Rue's request. A trial hit us all especially hard, and he struggled in the aftermath. We explored the concept of "survivor's guilt". It's... a troublesome but not uncommon response to loss. The guilt of experiencing something as simple as living. To be the one alive, when you feel like someone else should be living in your place. It can come hand in hand with other thoughts and emotions, many not good.

[There's a lot of potential for bad moments. There's implications in his words, though for Casey's sake he won't explicitly explain.]

You died, but find yourself alive again, nearly alone in a brand new world. Have you been experiencing the same feelings?

[Caduceus so easily... just seeing through him just leaves Leonardo a little adrift. He opens his mouth, then closes it.]

I... [He needs a second.] That, would cover it, I think. I know I shouldn't be here, but I am.

Shouldn't be here, according to whom?

[His fate, maybe would be the obvious answer, but it's important to understand Leonardo's thinking on this.]

The fact I died at home, means I should have stayed dead. [He doesn't have a great counterargument for that.] The fact I'm here, I get to relax- it feels wrong.

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