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[steepwithdead]

"Oh, hey."

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[grabaslice]

I'm glad, I was meant to entertain, but, I never achieved it. [Damn it, why is this man funny and hot.]

[steepwithdead]

Perhaps that'll be your calling, here. I've heard there's performance art in Tides.

[grabaslice]

[He chuckles a little at that.] Do my one-man show, where people probably throw tomatoes at me by the end.

[steepwithdead]

I've always thought that terribly wasteful. Tomatoes are such versatile food. There's nothing wrong with a shameful booing off the stage.

[grabaslice]

I dunno why people do that, but, you just see it on TV or hear about it.

Consider this, I'll catch the tomatoes, we use them. We trick people out of their produce. [He lobs back easily with a smile.] I guess wasting food is the ultimate insult.

[steepwithdead]

How many tomatoes can you catch and carry at once?

[grabaslice]

When I'm two armed, probably, like, many. [That is not a number.] Twenty.

[steepwithdead]

Twenty! That would need a full house to feed.

[He laughs, though. Wouldn't that be nice... a full house.]

[grabaslice]

Simple, we invite the teens over, make something tomato based. No leftovers in sight.

[steepwithdead]

If it's the teenagers, then... pizza, yes?

[What other meal would be suitable? Not that he's had it, but he knows there's tomato sauce.

Chicken goes in the oven to broil and melt the cheese, pasta is stirred and bubbling; he can step away from the stove for a moment to chat.]

[grabaslice]

Definitely pizza. Always pizza. [He agrees with a brief chuckle.] I dunno how my brothers and I lived off pizza so regularly.

[The turtle reaches out to tug the other chair slightly out for Caduceus. Apparently incapable of just being still.]

[steepwithdead]

[Caduceus happily accepts the chair offered, angling it so he can split his focus between the stove and Leonardo. He's too experienced (and a little proud) as a cook to risk burning food, especially since he's making it for someone else.]

Better pizza than some of the other things I've heard about your diet.

[A little bit the grilled cheese... but also the rats.]

[grabaslice]

In our defense- [Rats and leaves were not his preference, thank you-] we had rations and real food for a few years during the war. It didn't really last.

Before the war, we ate a lot of pizza. Mikey was the family cook though, made sure our diets were alright enough. As much as a thirteen year old can anyway.

[steepwithdead]

Seems to have worked out alright for you, regardless.

[Sizing him up. Leo's a big man, poor eating habits sure didn't stop that from happening.]

[grabaslice]

[He chuckles a little at that.]

You can pin that on Drax. He wanted ultimate soldiers to wipe out humanity, so, we ended up big. Meant to last the odds, yadda, yadda. [He waves a hand to go alongside his various yadda's.] Except Mikey, he never got much bigger, but he did grow hair for a while.

[steepwithdead]

Must've been quite the shock for him, considering the whole world-saving business you keep getting yourselves into.

[He'd only met the post-redemption (or at least, redemption-in-progress, considering the amount of work still required) Draxum, so he didn't see the supervillainy.]

[grabaslice]

Oh, he was pissed initially. Kept trying to convince us to join him. Since we were annoying teenagers, we kept thwarting him at every turn. [He chuckles a little at the memory.] By the time the war happened, he was already part of the family and was pretty intent on helping too.

[He lets his eyes close for a moment, mulling something over. He rubs at his cheek absently.] There is something kind of funny in it, you know? How love, no matter how flawed, can change everything.

[steepwithdead]

Mm... it is funny, but it's wonderful, too. Love can change the trajectory of a person in the most integral of ways. It saves them from being unmade, from being sculpted into architects of hate. To be loved is to never be alone.

[Even when you're physically alone, even in an empty house or an empty apartment or a world away from everything and everyone you've ever wanted or needed. Even then. Love is saving him, every day. Knowing he's loved where he belongs, and they're waiting for him.]

I'm very glad you found each other. That you saved him, and that he was able to accept the love he didn't know that he needed.

[grabaslice]

You are not alone. あなたは一人じゃない. [He offers back with a little laugh. His Japanese has been better, it has been much worse. The family motto still comes easily enough.

Saying the phrase does make his markings glow, be it very briefly. Not that the turtle notices. He's comfortable, his heart feels full. He loves his family, he would do anything for them.

He isn't sure if love fits what he is feeling for Caduceus, but... there is a warmth there too. A joy in new-found friendships. Something gentle and delicate blooming between them. It just needs care, and a gentle hand.] You're right. No matter how far, love won't burn out easily.

Yeah, me too. Life is funny that way. You need someone, and they need you just as badly back.

[steepwithdead]

[Caduceus tilts his head at the phrase. He's heard it before, though the context is vague up to this point. Perhaps he'll ask another time, though. It falls in line with the sentiment of love, he thinks, based on how it's said each time.]

Nothing funny about that, I think. That's the natural order of sentient life. Love is what sets us apart.

[grabaslice]

Some people are so set against the idea, it makes you wonder what goes on with them. [He muses absently.] I don't envy people who can't see what love can do.

[He can't help but think about a conversation he had with Donnie.] Even when you lose someone, the love doesn't really go away. You keep it with you.

[steepwithdead]

When you love the person, not just the body, you can love them whether they're with you or not. Feelings can remain eternal through the connection of souls. They can fade, sure. Decay over time. But decay leads to growth, in the natural world. A grave covered in flowers. Love of the lost becomes something beautiful again, as you process that grief.

[grabaslice]

[Leonardo seems to debate for a moment with himself. He doesn't bring up Usagi all that often, if ever. He and Donnie danced around the topic, it came up accidentally with Hunter...

He's more willingly bringing it up here.]

All of this makes me think of something my brother said a while back. About how it would have been better to not have loved someone. [His gaze flicks to the side, recalling the conversation best he can.]

He and I... we both lost a lot of people. Friends, family, romantic partners. A woman he was romantically with died during the war. A man I was with died during the war. Both ended badly, but, I don't know how you could ever wish you never loved them?

He thinks it made me worse. I don't know how true that is. I don't think you should regret that kind of love?

[steepwithdead]

Mm... I can't claim to know for certain. I've not experienced that kind of love.

[He's witnessed it plenty, though. Love, loss, grief, completion found in another person. He may not understand it, but he knows connections, bonds, all too well.]

Once, I asked a woman who died whether she regretted the life she lived, the love she might've felt. She said her life was long, unremarkable, and difficult. But she endured with her family, and lived long enough to watch her daughter be better than she. Even through it all, it was the life she wanted.

[He leans back a bit, looking thoughtful, remembering well how he'd felt in that moment. It had given him peace, to know that someone could struggle, suffer, lose so much, and still find that live was worthwhile. It gave him hope that even through all the struggles his own family was going through, they too would endure and not regret the path they'd chosen. The Wildmother provides. The world provides. They can make the most of the situation they're in.]

The truth is, he's allowed to feel what he feels. He may never think differently, and it may affect his relationships going forward. But you don't have to agree with him. Your feelings are your own. You can cherish, instead of regret.

[grabaslice]

It has a tendency to make things complicated, I'll tell you that much. [A part of Leonardo wants to ask 'How has someone like you never been in a relationship'- but... it really isn't his business. Caduceus didn't sound bothered or broken up by it.

Proof enough that he can't fuck this up. He can't-

His heart hurts in a way he doesn't like. His knuckles press against his chest plates. In the quiet of the apartment, the world feels too big and too small at once. Donnie fled from their family, disappearing into a lab and essentially cutting them off.]

You always have the wildest anecdotes, gotta say that much. You're making some of mine seem less off the wall. [He mulls it over, though, clearly taking things in. There is comfort in the story. In the lack of regret. Leonardo wants to feel that way. He wants to live again. To thrive.]

Given everything else going on, I really should just... realize Donnie is going to do things his own way. Keep thinking half the choices I make are the wrong ones.

I'll cherish what I had. I had to- put him out of his misery. [His lips press into a tight tense line at the memory before he lets it roll away.] But, I don't regret the time I had with Usagi.