steepwithdead | Folkmore

[Caduceus tilts his head at the phrase. He's heard it before, though the context is vague up to this point. Perhaps he'll ask another time, though. It falls in line with the sentiment of love, he thinks, based on how it's said each time.]

Nothing funny about that, I think. That's the natural order of sentient life. Love is what sets us apart.

Some people are so set against the idea, it makes you wonder what goes on with them. [He muses absently.] I don't envy people who can't see what love can do.

[He can't help but think about a conversation he had with Donnie.] Even when you lose someone, the love doesn't really go away. You keep it with you.

When you love the person, not just the body, you can love them whether they're with you or not. Feelings can remain eternal through the connection of souls. They can fade, sure. Decay over time. But decay leads to growth, in the natural world. A grave covered in flowers. Love of the lost becomes something beautiful again, as you process that grief.

[Leonardo seems to debate for a moment with himself. He doesn't bring up Usagi all that often, if ever. He and Donnie danced around the topic, it came up accidentally with Hunter...

He's more willingly bringing it up here.]

All of this makes me think of something my brother said a while back. About how it would have been better to not have loved someone. [His gaze flicks to the side, recalling the conversation best he can.]

He and I... we both lost a lot of people. Friends, family, romantic partners. A woman he was romantically with died during the war. A man I was with died during the war. Both ended badly, but, I don't know how you could ever wish you never loved them?

He thinks it made me worse. I don't know how true that is. I don't think you should regret that kind of love?

Mm... I can't claim to know for certain. I've not experienced that kind of love.

[He's witnessed it plenty, though. Love, loss, grief, completion found in another person. He may not understand it, but he knows connections, bonds, all too well.]

Once, I asked a woman who died whether she regretted the life she lived, the love she might've felt. She said her life was long, unremarkable, and difficult. But she endured with her family, and lived long enough to watch her daughter be better than she. Even through it all, it was the life she wanted.

[He leans back a bit, looking thoughtful, remembering well how he'd felt in that moment. It had given him peace, to know that someone could struggle, suffer, lose so much, and still find that live was worthwhile. It gave him hope that even through all the struggles his own family was going through, they too would endure and not regret the path they'd chosen. The Wildmother provides. The world provides. They can make the most of the situation they're in.]

The truth is, he's allowed to feel what he feels. He may never think differently, and it may affect his relationships going forward. But you don't have to agree with him. Your feelings are your own. You can cherish, instead of regret.

It has a tendency to make things complicated, I'll tell you that much. [A part of Leonardo wants to ask 'How has someone like you never been in a relationship'- but... it really isn't his business. Caduceus didn't sound bothered or broken up by it.

Proof enough that he can't fuck this up. He can't-

His heart hurts in a way he doesn't like. His knuckles press against his chest plates. In the quiet of the apartment, the world feels too big and too small at once. Donnie fled from their family, disappearing into a lab and essentially cutting them off.]

You always have the wildest anecdotes, gotta say that much. You're making some of mine seem less off the wall. [He mulls it over, though, clearly taking things in. There is comfort in the story. In the lack of regret. Leonardo wants to feel that way. He wants to live again. To thrive.]

Given everything else going on, I really should just... realize Donnie is going to do things his own way. Keep thinking half the choices I make are the wrong ones.

I'll cherish what I had. I had to- put him out of his misery. [His lips press into a tight tense line at the memory before he lets it roll away.] But, I don't regret the time I had with Usagi.

[Caduceus merely smiles at the anecdote comment. Live long enough and you gather plenty of weird stories. He's still relatively young for a firbolg, even. He wonders what Leo would think of stories told by his parents or aunt.

He listens to the rest, attentive, curious. He's always liked hearing about relationships of others, whether they need advice or simply wish to share. It's so interesting to him, the way many things he's never experienced can be interesting. A fascinating tale of a world he doesn't know and has no longing for, but can indulge in the imagery for a while.]

I'm sorry for your loss, and that it had to end that way. No matter how a loved one passes, it always seems to feel too soon, too unfair. But I'm glad it at least doesn't make you regret the experience.

[He shrugs gently at the condolences. Not brushing it off like he would if anyone else tried the sentiment. There is no bluster about being fine.] We knew it the risks, for that mission, for being together, but, it doesn't change that I'd still loved him. I wish things had been different, but I know you can't change the past.

Let me, tell you a better story. Anecdote for anecdote. [He doesn't want to dwell on Usagi's death.]

After we settled down for the night, I asked him a question, 'Are you sure about this, Usagi? I kind of have a lot of baggage.' He was half asleep, but trying to stay awake to talk.

He reached out to pat my arm a bit too hard and said with no hesitation, 'And one arm to carry it all, wow.' I laughed loudly enough that he fell out of bed and hit his head. I had to carry him to medical, and we were laughing like idiots the entire time.

[Caduceus hums as he finishes, thoughtful and appreciative. Yeah, that's the kind of story he likes to hear.]

Good. That's really good. Those are the sorts of memories you should cherish- the kind I'm sure he'd want you to carry, far more than how it ended. It sounds like he really loved you, too.

[He can imagine his parents having that kind of silly conversation- he's heard similar hundreds of times over the years. The void of it, the silence in their household as so many conversations were as missing as the family members who used to bring it to life, was practically deafening. But he never forgot the shape of them.]

I try to think about that, the good parts, the fact he loved me. I want to think about that more than his death.

[He releases a slow sigh, his attention drifting between Caduceus and the meal cooking on the stove top across from them.] Got any more anecdotes? I feel like I talk too much about my issues, and I don't hear you enough.

Hmm...

[Good question. He's used to not talking about himself too much, everyone else just has so much more to say, and he's a good listener. His life here especially, and back home, was for the most part mundane and would be quite dull to those who lead exciting lives. Plenty of adventuring stories, though.]

Nothing on-topic, but if you don't mind veering off, let's see. Have you met many pirates?

When I was younger, I met a handful. My memory is a little foggy on it these days. [He starts to brighten a little, happy to just chatter with the other man.] Do you know a lot of pirates? Go seafaring?

I'll have you know I am, in fact, a certified pirate. I sailed under the fearsome Captain Tusktooth, on a ship named something I hesitate to repeat in polite company.

Oho, a certified pirate, huh? What haven't you gotten up to? [He is definitely picturing Caduceus in a pirate outfit. Leonardo has to stop himself from getting carried away with the amount of eye patches the firbolg is wearing.] Thankfully, you're not in polite company, so you can tell me, if you dare.

Edited 2025-11-03 05:28 (UTC)

Hmm. [Well, if he insists.] It was called the Balleater.

[That does a very good job of making Leonardo laugh.] Balleater- now that is a name.

Did it live up to the name? I can guess you probably made a few other pirates regret their life choices.

Edited 2025-11-03 16:21 (UTC)

I would say it did, just... in an unexpected way. [In that their captain kept absorbing magic balls into his body.] And people often regret their life choices around the Mighty Nein.

[Fellas is it homoerotic if your captain is absorbing balls into his body-]

Dare I ask, or is this best to leave be? [The turtle can at least respect privacy, even if he loves a good story.] What kind of chaos did you all get into?

I'm not sure how I'd begin to explain it, so best let it be for now. [Or maybe forever. It's another "this is not my story" thing, that happens a lot. Because lots of things happen to the other members of the Nein, unfortunately.] We stole our first ship, got captured and allied with another pirate, mutineered against her because she was mutineering against the Plank King - king of pirates, that's a thing - were banished from their secret pirate island in under a day...

[Just to list a few.]

[He's distracted from the first part fairly easily. Fjord and his balls are free from turtle curiosity.] Okay, I can't ever underestimate what you get into now.

Why did you guys steal a ship? You worked with someone who captured you...? Secret Pirate island?

Edited 2025-11-04 04:29 (UTC)

I'm not entirely clear on the ship-stealing part, I was out of earshot for a lot of it. We were following some pirates, and were spotted, and peaceful negotiation failed. Then the fight drew the attention of some guards, and things got very out of hand... the best escape route was to just sail away on their ship. It wasn't a very good night, admittedly. Poor choices were made.

[One thing at a time.]

[One at a time is for the best, given the layers present.] I... yeah, a lot of poor choices.

[The out of earshot aspect does make Leonardo pause for a second.] Please tell me you were on the ship when they left? Not like captured by guards?

[Oh, Leonardo. Oh no. You scratched his ocean salt.

Dryly:]

Neither of those are true.

[Little did he know-]

....Wait, you weren't on the ship? [He just needs a second to parse that out.]

I wasn't. I had to swim to catch up.

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