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[steepwithdead]

"Oh, hey."

| voice | video | text | action |

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text || un: rockstar

[tillimgone]

you're the guy with the breathing techniques, right? because if you are i could really use some solid advice, because the breathing thing has been great.

[steepwithdead]

Yes, that's me. Caduceus. This is Till, yes?

[tillimgone]

oh shit, yeah forgot to say who i was. yeah.

so remember i told you about that dead friend? well... he's here and alive and i need some serious advice.

[steepwithdead]

Ah. [Goodness gracious is the word. Not that revivals are unheard of where he's from, of course, but he does know it's unusual. There's many reasons his home is full of occupied graves rather than empty ones.] I can imagine you're feeling quite a lot right now.

[tillimgone]

yeah... a lot of them. so like, here's the main problem. we don't communicate well and it feels worse than ever since we arrived and there's a lot of emotions and hurt and all kinds of things making it worse. but he talks like logic and numbers and i talk emotions and colors. i want to find a middle ground.

[steepwithdead]

[Sure coming out of the gates swinging with this one.]

Are either of you good at compromise?

[tillimgone]

i'm willing to and i feel like he would be? we're both stubborn but i think we both want to... make this better, you know? we just keep hurting each other trying though

[steepwithdead]

Is this something you would prefer to settle one on one, or would having a mediator help?

[text] un: checkmate [post event]

[amurderofcrow]

Forgive how late this message is coming in, but I wanted to touch base with you.

Tell me that you are well.

[steepwithdead]

[Oh, the sigh of relief he breathes. Akechi beat him to the punch on this one, but he'd worried.]

Forgive me for not reaching out first. Still not so good with these devices.

I'm better now than I was. I might've preferred oblivion to the ghost experience, but it's good to breathe again.

How are you holding up?

1/2

[amurderofcrow]

Save your apologies. There's nothing to forgive. I'm only grateful that you're well.

As for me, I'm fine. I survived.

2/2

[amurderofcrow]

[And from there, something strange happens.

The little telltale ellipses that prove that Akechi is typing pop in and out, stopping for a few seconds before starting up before stopping again. It's clear the boy is typing paragraphs out and then deleting them, writing more than he'll ever send, struggling with just what he needs to say. But maybe ten minutes into this torture, Akechi finally hits send on something he deems acceptable.]

I have some experience with death.

And when Sumire returned from her own death, she felt some kind of ridiculous comfort in being able to speak about the experience with someone who understood.

So if this appeals to you in any sense, just say the word. I have the time.

[steepwithdead]

[Caduceus doesn't answer right away. In part because it's an offer that clearly took a lot of courage and debating to send at all; he waits a handful of minutes on his end to give Akechi the chance to delete it and pretend it was never sent, if he wishes.

And also in part because there is, in truth, a hefty amount of hesitation involved in burdening a child with his own internal conflict. It isn't his way. He carries his own troubles because they are so, so much lighter than everyone he knows. His life has been good, and quiet, and gentle. 90 years he lived so pleasantly. Only the last decade has been what he could call real hardship, and even that was sporadic and lonely more than traumatic until the year his father and 'Belle disappeared. He's been alright. Almost fine. This has... shaken him, but he will breathe deep in the garden, he will drink tea and pray, and he'll be alright again. He's always alright. This is a child. Adults shouldn't burden children.

Akechi's not a young child, though. By human standards he's grown; in Caduceus' world he could have married, even had a child by his age. Old enough to know what death feels like, to remember it, to share the experience and the feelings and thoughts attached with another. And... maybe, he too needs to talk about such things. One conversation, one moment, is never enough to cure a pain so deep. Grief for oneself is a strange feeling, and grief never fades in a singular day.

It's an offer to which he should give the respect that is owed. So with a quiet sigh, he types a simple response.]

I think I would like that very much.

[amurderofcrow]

[Ah. Akechi isn't so certain how that response makes him feel, more full of nerves than he thought possible, knowing that someone might trust him with something significant like this. The possibility of fucking up feels heavier than normal, but maybe that's because he legitimately cares about this person.]

Name the place and I shall meet you there.

[steepwithdead]

I've spent a lot of time in the garden, if that pleases you. I'll be there this afternoon, come whenever you're ready.

I've got Clarabelle with me, she won't fuss. But I can take her back to the stable if you'd prefer.

--> Action

[amurderofcrow]

Don't bother, her presence won't trouble me. I'll meet you there this afternoon.

[Perfect. Now Akechi has a few hours to just Panic over not knowing what the fuck he is doing.

But anxious in his own ability to navigate this kind of connection with another person or not, Akechi arrives as promised, seeking out Caduceus immediately, greeting the man with a nod.]

Clay-san.

[And even Akechi isn't prepared for the deep exhale he releases just seeing with his own eyes that this man is whole and healthy before him, not bleeding out into the dirt and cold.]

[steepwithdead]

[Always observant, Caduceus is quick to look up as Akechi approaches, smiling at him. Gentle as ever, his eyes are soft and sad, though masterfully toeing the line between shared sorrow and pity without crossing over to the latter. He's sitting in the sunlight, surrounded by the colours of the garden, a patch of gray and pastels.

The huge bulk of Clarabelle is curled up next to him, an outrageously large ball of cat. Caduceus is stroking the sleek black fur of her head, and at the sound of Akechi's footsteps, she lifts up briefly, blinks at him a few times, then rests her head back down again. (Predator recognizes another, perhaps. Or maybe the sunlight has just made her lazy.)]

Akechi. You look well, I'm very glad.

[His word choice is intentional; looking well and being well are very different things. And while his tone is (quite subtly) less robust than normal, he sounds so much stronger than the weak voice he'd used in his final moments.]

[early feb, action]

[amurderofcrow]

[Akechi doesn't even know he's at Caduceus' door until he's already knocking, the boy going on day five or so of getting laid flat by his returning memories. For someone who already struggles so much with his emotions, it's been difficult to manage all of the conflicting feelings swelling in his chest, the reliving of his grief and trauma, the fury that had dulled returning burning brighter than ever before.

So when Caduceus appears, Akechi maybe just walks in without an invitation and plops down in the first seat he can find.]

I don't know why I came here.

[steepwithdead]

[Oh, that's. Abrupt. Caduceus is suddenly very grateful that his roommate is out and about, because whatever's happening here is not suitable for an audience.

He shuts the door, following Akechi over and sitting down beside him. Not too close, to crowd him, but Cad's never been one for unnecessary distance, either. It toes the line with option and invitation.]

We can figure that part out, then. Did something happen?

[amurderofcrow]

Yes.

[But Akechi stops there, gloved hands fidgeting together, the words trapped in his throat. Thankfully, Caduceus has patience to spare, so if he waits long enough, the boy finally finds his tongue again to answer.]

Did I tell you about the deal I made with Sahar nearly a year ago?

[steepwithdead]

[As expected, Caduceus waits. And when the follow-up comes, he purses his lips tightly.]

You did. Your birth name, for Ren's safety. I recall it had unintended side effects as well.

[Memories of his mother...]

[amurderofcrow]

Hm.

[Maybe it helps to know that Caduceus knows, that he was one of the few Akechi could trust with that information. That has to mean something.]

It does seem like something I'd tell you. No one else would have understood. [The fidgeting annoys him, so Akechi slaps his hands down against his thighs, refusing to let himself drag this out further.]

Ren made a deal to return to them to me. A foolish, stupid deal that I'm pissed at him for.

....And yet...

[steepwithdead]

[....

These... stupid, volatile, loving children. One after the next, hurting themselves for the sake of their other half. It's admirable. It's foolhardy. He wishes they'd carry fewer burdens. He doesn't know what to say, wishes he'd known it was this dire. He isn't sure what else could be done about it, but surely there was something else they could have...

...He exhales through his nose, quiet for a long moment. Not now. What's done is done.]

It's a relief to have them back, is it not? To remember her again.

[amurderofcrow]

[Akechi nods in response, a quick, firm little movement, mouth pressed together into a thin, worrying line.]

It was unpleasant, at first. Having them all return like they did, with the understanding that I'd been the one to give them away. [If not for Ren, he would have shaken to pieces due to the overwhelming guilt alone.] My mother wasn't perfect, but - she deserves to be remembered, especially when I'm the only one left who can.

[But this still doesn't completely explain why Akechi is here.]

It's been months now, but you mentioned there were times you came close to forgetting your own family, in the wake of their absence. I thought... Perhaps if we shared memories important to us with each other, if anything happens, they won't just disappear completely again.

[steepwithdead]

[Caduceus blinks, initially. And then he realizes, after a moment, that he's no longer truly surprised by Akechi showing kindness in this way. He talks a big game and he's been wounded more times than Caduceus will ever know, yet this is another instance of him showing care in a way most, at a glance, would not predict. He feels very foolish, in this moment. He also feels... somewhat claimed.

He smiles, his expression softening.]

I'd like that, yeah. [It's been a year now since he's seen his own family, as opposed to the near-decade before the Mighty Nein rescued them from the gorgon's petrification. Their faces, their voices are clearer than before. But it's still... tricky, sometimes. Fuzzy. He only saw them for a day or so before their ties were severed once more, by travel, and then this place.

Still, their family lives were very different, as were their upbringings, so he is compelled to ask next,] Would it hurt you, to hear me talk about them?

[He doesn't mind listening, of course. And Akechi likely wants this to be a reciprocal thing, so it won't feel like one more debt. But the last thing he wants to do is cause this boy more pain.]