steepwithdead | Folkmore

Maybes are fine. It's when the maybe turns into "my fault" when it isn't true that's bad for your mental health. It's important to look at a situation and go, "would I have done this thing, if that thing didn't happen"? If the answer's yes, your behaviour's the problem. Anything else means the situation is more complicated, and you can share the blame with someone or something else.

[He pauses, then amends with a smile,]

Share, but not entirely absolve. Just sometimes. Most problems are a group effort.

Eugh, boy. Are they ever. When it's a group effort, it's hard to work out how to start unravellin' the mess.

[...]

You got any advice on how to deal with someone obsessed to the point of unhealthiness?

[Oh that sure is a relevant thing to toss out, huh. He's... heard some things.]

The real answer is long and complicated, so I'll lead with the easier one: depends a lot on the obsession, and the person. In this particular case, [because may as well acknowledge the elephant,] the fixation should probably be shifted to something healthier.

[This elephant is wearing a purple mask and contemplating supervillainy.]

It's just... the end game result he was aimin' for ain't a bad one. If he'd done it at a more healthy pace and just asked for volunteers, it would be a really worthwhile thing, but he's so stressed he just doesn't know how to put the brakes on. Or, y'know. Ask.

[Gee golly is it ever.]

Some people are tragically incapable of asking for help- or at least, they need many, many lessons before it sinks in. Knowing what I know of your family, I imagine you'd asked him before if he needed help. How'd he respond to that sort of thing?

"I'm almost done, but thanks. It's not something you can help with." Etcetera, etcetera. I mean, he's a genius and he works with some pretty high-tech stuff, so when he says I can't help I usually just take him at his word. Or I did until now.

I did tell him not to work himself into oblivion, but I guess he didn't pay much attention to that.

It sounds like the real answer is, if he isn't able to take care of himself due to his obsessions, and you're looking for ways to help but can't help with his work, then you may need to become his restraint. Make an arrangement with him that demands he listens, takes a break or a meal, whatever is needed. [Like a non-sexy, self-care safe word.] Use it responsibly, to build trust with him on this method. Find support with the other members of his family that can coax or convince him, when he won't listen to you or you're feeling overwhelmed. He has to want to change for the better, but he will need help.

[~~But if i want the sexy kind of safe word--~~]

...he'd probably be open to that. I know he feels ashamed, but I think it's mostly that he disappointed us and he failed. If he'd succeeded...

[But he didn't. She doesn't want to chase that thought.]

[~~set that up with someone who isnt aroace and would understand ig~~]

He's the sort who would believe it worthwhile if he'd succeeded. Despite everything that happened, and how you feel about it.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure he was bankin' on us all bein' angry but gettin' over it because of the 'greater good' that was achieved. [Putting that in air quotes.]

Look...I know he was terrified about things happenin' back home. He kinda tunnel-visioned. But...I wanna believe this is something he'd never have done back home. It feels like Folkmore has messed with him in some pretty big way.

Mm... this world has a habit of forcing the worst upon us while claiming to push us towards our best. On one hand, I can understand the logic of challenging our capacity for good by giving us an easy route to do evil. On the other hand, it isn't her right to dish out these challenges.

[Not to say he's evil, mind. There's a big difference between doing ills to others and wanting to be. And there's nothing easy about making some of these choices.]

Regardless of Thirteen's rights or motives, this isn't something that should be inflicted on children. There's far too many of you here.

God, right? [Something else that has been bugging her wholesale. She's technically an adult, maybe, but--] I've seen actual kid kids here. Like... there was some little girl on the network months ago, she can't have been more than eight.

[...which isn't why she's here, it's just kind of a what's with that anyway!? moment.]

It ain't her right. Maybe it'd be her right if we were allowed to say 'no' and like...go home again, so anyone who stayed was kinda abidin' by her house rules. But if we have no choice, it sucks.

I've always found it curious, that we come to this world by "choosing" to follow her, but once we're here there's very little choice involved.

[He doesn't know what conclusion to glean from that (besides a little bit of "that's bullshit", as some of his friends would say), but it sure is interesting, huh.]

I'm not really sure we 'chose' to come here at all. Like... it felt right at the time, but the second I got here? That sounds like Jedi mind tricks to me.

[What mind tricks now???]

I'm familiar with a spell, a form of memory manipulation. Cast by a strong enough individual, it can completely rewrite the memory of a particular event. What actually occurred is erased, and the target remembers what they are told they remember. Isn't that interesting?

[He takes a sip of his tea. Jedi mind trick, indeed.]

[...so we gotta make Cad watch Star Wars, check.]

Oh. Yeah, very interestin'. [Huff.] No surprise at all, there. That, uh... sounds like a powerful spell prone to bein' abused.

[He would be thoroughly lost by like, ALL of it, but it could be very funny.]

Certainly could be. There's ways of fighting it, and the only person I know capable of using it would mostly only cast it for important reasons. Or maybe harmless shenanigans.

[She's just Like That. (Dear Wildmother, he misses Jester so much. All of them, mostly Fjord, but especially Jester.)]

Harmless shenigans can be important, I guess. That person's not here, I take it?

[Just to accidentally rub it in more.]

[Ow, ow, ow. Good thing he's got a good poker face.]

No. She's the sort of person everyone would know is here, if she was.

[BLISSFULLY IGNORANT. Also mildly disappointed.]

I'll keep that in mind. [...] How do you fight it?

[Because that would probably come in handy to know.]

[Good question. He's not even sure how to answer.]

Mental and emotional fortitude, mostly. The easiest way to describe it is your sense of self must be stronger than the magic of their creativity. It isn't a sure thing, but it'd help.

Hmm. I'd like to say I have an amazin' sense of self, and yet here I am in Folkmore. [Hah.]

No reason why you still can't. It's not a 100% guarantee to stave off the effect, nor is it confirmed this is how she pulled us here. It's only a theory.

[He did say that, didn't he.]

True. I just wish I knew what her real motives were, but I guess that's not exactly in your wheelhouse. [Heh.] A lot of conversations with me end up raggin' on Thirteen. Sorry.

That's alright. She's a contentious subject. In truth I'm surprised more conversations don't end up like this. In that sense it's refreshing.

[More of a collective problem that they all share than an exclusive or personal one. He's great at sympathy and empathy, those are his great strengths, but it's not often he gets to properly share the experience.]

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